Relationships are an integral part of our existence as humans. Whether personal or professional, relationships play a significant role in our daily lives, and, while we all wish that every relationship we have is a good one, that’s not always the case.
When relationships of any kind turn south, oftentimes they fall apart or dissolve. However, in instances where relationships continue despite their toxicity, it can cause emotional and mental anguish, such as relationship trauma. In fact, when it comes to relationship trauma in particular, the effects can linger long after the relationship has dissolved, resulting in one or more parties with a fractured sense of self-worth, trust, and emotional well-being.
While like all types of physical and emotional trauma healing from relationship trauma is possible, it requires patience, self-compassion, and constant work.
So, if you or a loved one have experienced relationship trauma as a result of a relationship that went south, keep reading to learn more about the different types of relationship trauma, some of the common signs, and how you can start the healing process.
What Is Relationship Trauma?
Relationship trauma refers to psychological distress caused by toxic, abusive, or otherwise harmful relationships. While many people may associate relationship trauma with strictly romantic relationships, trauma can actually be caused by relationships of all kinds including romantic, family, friend, or even professional relationships.
When one or more parties in a relationship have their trust repeatedly broken or when they experience manipulation, neglect, or betrayal, it can lead to significant emotional distress. Over time, without addressing the distress or leaving the toxic relationship, a person may start to experience mental health turmoil including anxiety, depression, trust issues, and in some severe cases the inability to form healthy connections with others in any capacity.
What Are the Signs Of Relationship Trauma?
Unfortunately for so many people, they go about their lives surrounded by toxicity in their relationships. While some may acknowledge they are in a toxic relationship and don’t get out of it for whatever reason, others may not even know it’s happening. That’s why having an understanding of not just what relationship trauma is but also what some of the signs are is so important.
Below are some of the common signs of relationship trauma:
- Persistent fear of abandonment or rejection
- Difficulty trusting others, even in safe relationships
- Low self-esteem and self-doubt
- Emotional numbness or detachment
- Hypervigilance in relationships, constantly fearing betrayal or hurt
- Frequent flashbacks or intrusive thoughts about past relationship experiences
- Avoidance of intimacy or emotional closeness
- Overanalyzing interactions and expecting negative outcomes
- Engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors in relationships
- Physical symptoms like headaches, insomnia, or digestive issues linked to emotional distress
How Does Relationship Trauma Impact Your Sense Of Self-Worth and Trust?
One of the more detrimental consequences of relationship trauma, from a mental health and well-being standpoint is the way in which the toxic relationship negatively impacts not just how a person views themselves but others as well. The trauma can leave a person jaded, often making it difficult to trust others moving forward. This often occurs out of fear of opening themselves up again and getting hurt.
If the person experiences any form of emotional abuse, such as manipulation or rejection, they may also form a negative impression of themselves. Oftentimes this can lead them to believe that they are not worthy of being treated with respect or loved. As a result, they may find themselves trying to overcompensate by trying to people please or even stay in toxic relationships out of both the fear of being alone and the fear that nobody else will want them.
What Are the Types Of Relationship Trauma?
We’ve touched on a few of them briefly throughout, but there are actually many different types of relationship trauma, ranging from physical abuse to emotional neglect. Let’s take a look at some of the more common types of relationship trauma below:
- Physical Abuse – It likely goes without saying, but any form of physical violence within a relationship can come with physical and mental anguish.
- Emotional Abuse – Constant criticism, gaslighting, manipulation, or belittling can damage self-esteem and create lasting emotional wounds.
- Abandonment or Rejection – Being left unexpectedly or feeling neglected in a relationship can create deep-rooted fears of abandonment.
- Infidelity – Being cheated on or deceived can lead to feelings of worthlessness, mistrust, and fear of future relationships.
- Neglect – A lack of emotional or physical support from a partner, friend, or family member can cause lasting emotional distress.
- Codependency – Being in a relationship where one’s needs are consistently ignored in favor of another’s can lead to low self-worth.
How Does Relationship Trauma Affect Your Mental Health?
Being in a toxic relationship can have more far-reaching consequences than just relationship trauma. It can also lead to significant mental health struggles such as:
- Depression disorders
- Post-traumatic stress disorder
- Anxiety disorders
- Hypervigilance
- Self-isolation
- Attachment issues
Any one of these issues often requires treatment or therapy, in addition to addressing the main issue, which is relationship trauma.
How Can You Heal From Relationship Trauma?
Speaking of treatment and therapy it’s important to remember that, much like other mental and physical ailments, you can heal from the emotional scars caused by relationship trauma. Healing from relationship trauma requires a combination of self-awareness, self-care, and support from professionals or loved ones.
Let’s take a look at some of the various ways to help yourself overcome relationship trauma:
When it comes to seeking professional help, therapy is the most effective form of treatment. There are a number of different therapeutic options that help in addressing relationship trauma including:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
- Individual Therapy
- Couples Therapy
In addition to seeking professional help, there are also things you can do on your own to overcome the scars left by a toxic relationship. These include:
- Journaling
- Mindfulness and Mediation
- Setting healthy boundaries
- Finding activities that bring you joy
- Practicing self-compassion
Some may also find it beneficial to lean on others in times of need. This could be a trusted family member, friend, support group, or even a professional. No matter who it is, having a strong support system can make getting through even the most challenging of times a little easier.
Managing Emotional Responses After Relationship Trauma
Even after breaking free of a toxic relationship that causes relationship trauma, you may often experience a number of different emotions as you try and process what happened and pick up the proverbial broken pieces. Being able to manage these emotional responses in a healthy manner is crucial.
Some healthy ways in which you can manage your emotions include:
- Engaging in physical activity
- Using positive affirmations
- Practicing self-validation
- Being honest with yourself about your feelings and emotions
Peak Wellness Offers Couples Therapy and Trauma Treatment
If you are struggling with relationship trauma, Peak Wellness is here to help. We offer specialized therapy and trauma-informed care including individual therapy, couples counseling, and trauma-focused therapy.
If you or a loved one is ready to start the healing process, contact us today to begin.
